Americans making fun of British people: oi bruv you fancy a wee little shag?
Brits making fun of Americans: I wish your wife died on 9/11
Americans making fun of French people: baguette, le surrender
French people making fun of Americans: go back to fucking your mother you fat redneck cunt
Americans making fun of Japanese people: (intense racism)
Japanese people making fun of Amerians: Howdy there, my name’s Joe Texas. Yeehaw! I was born on this here 35 acre hot dog ranch I inherited from my great grandpop, and spent my entire life working sun up till sun down. Shoot. Dang a sonic. My tractor got stuck in the mud on the way to the office. Yeehaw!
this gallon of milk is disabled because it has not been linked to a google account! to enable drinking, make sure to visit milk.google.com/activate before the expiration date and click “yes” when prompted for full device administrator permissions
I absolutely hate HATE the fetishzision of goth girls/people. I fucking hate it. We need to go back to being weird as fuck, off-putting, odd, whatever. I like being a gross nasty goth with a teeth collection and interested with Victorian medicine and death and has messy smudged grimey makeup and cracked lips and letting spiders crawl into my hands after they fell from their web to put them back. Everything that will make people who just see goth people as just a freaky sex thing to turn their noses because jfc I’m more than that.
i feel like no one really wants to hear that sleep/exercise/nutrition/hydration are major factors in treating mental health issues bc we’ve all talked to that person who thinks your depression would be cured by one good session of goat yoga or whatever but unfortunately they do help and i’m chronically annoyed about it
The enemy is both weak and strong. “[…] the followers must be convinced that they can overwhelm the enemies. Thus, by a continuous shifting of rhetorical focus, the enemies are at the same time too strong and too weak.”
- Umberto Eco on fascism
dear diary,
today a tumblr user called me a fascist for saying they might feel better if they drink water
Computers are very simple you see we take the hearts of dead stars and we flatten them into crystal chips and then we etch tiny pathways using concentrated light into the dead star crystal chips and if we etch the pathways just so we can trick the crystals into doing our thinking for us hope this clears things up.
How does it feel to be the most Galaxy Brained person in this entire thread
when I was around twelve I used to sit at the family computer and send hatemail to a white french dude named Jacques who was a self proclaimed communist on Tumblr. This was back in the day when you didn’t need a blog to send anon hate. I had no real beef with him but I just didn’t like his tone. used to send him “SHUT UP Jacques” periodically. and he’d answer every single one of my asks like “who is this?? show your face or I’ll fucking kill you” and I’d be like “now now, that doesn’t make sense, jacques” all haughty and he’d get so fucking mad at me. One time he posted a selfie and I sent him an ask claiming I was a psychologist and that his hair parting suggested that he wasn’t a communist at all. and he took it deliriously serious and went off on a 2,000 word rant. I can remember going to stay at my grandparents over that weekend, so I didn’t even respond to the rant until I came back. I could’ve chosen to end it there, but when I returned, I sent him another ask which was like “psychologist here again: if you were a communist your hair parting would be in the middle. evenly distributed. All behavioural signs point to someone who doesn’t take their own values seriously.” and he went ballistic. really swearing at me. all caps type beat. he never turned the asks off, btw. which always made me wonder if he didn’t know how to, or if he didn’t want to cause he was convinced he was fighting a war, and this action would ensure he lost it. anyway this went on for weeks until one day I completely forgot about him like he was some kind of childhood imaginary friend I’d conjured up in my loneliness. but yesterday I happened to recall the whole scenario, because my buddy was like “remember when you were twelve and I came over to your house, and you showed me on the computer how you’d been terrorizing this random French guy for days on end. And you were laughing like fucking crazy. and I said it wasn’t funny because he probably had problems, and you were like ‘oh.’ and you looked a bit guilty for a second, but then you went and got a grapefruit from the kitchen and threw it out of the second story window at my kid brother, who was playing in the street, and then you started laughing again?” Well. when she put it like that, needless to say I felt bad. so Jacques if you’re out there I’m sorry I was such a little shit. you had totally normal hair, and you only wanted people to share stuff. If it’s any consolation I know every day of my life that I’m probably going to hell for the sick things I have done
